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Uber COO Andrew MacDonald told Business Insider this week that it is getting increasingly hard to justify Uber’s current levels of AI spending. 

MacDonald cited that Uber’s rising token spend has not yet led to a proportional increase in useful consumer features, while also reducing the company’s budget available for new hires. 

Some cite rising token prices, as platforms like Claude have been unable to process user demand and have removed open-ended usage limits on subscription plans. 

This appears to be affecting enterprise users in real time; Uber’s CTO revealed in April that Uber only took four months to use up its Claude Code budget for the year. 

Looks like the MBA programs that mint all these genius executives have stopped teaching Goodhart’s law.

Another reason may be that output quality simply isn’t great.

One X user employed at Entelligence AI, a company which sells developer tools for coding, reported that only 18% of token spend actually contributes to stable product features, while 44% of tokens were spent on bug fixes. 

Throw in the poor boomer fucker who cost his company $500 million in tokens because he didn’t know how to set usage limits, and you can see why tokenmaxxing had the lifespan of your average housefly.

Former health secretary Alan Milburn published the government-commissioned review into youth unemployment this week and safe to say, it’s not looking good bruv for young people in the UK. 

The number of young people who are NEET (not employed, in education, or training) has surpassed one million for the first time in fifteen years, and the UK risks creating a “lost generation” if the situation is allowed to deteriorate further. 

Of course, if you ask John and Margaret McBoomerface down the road, they’ll tell you that it is a lack of work ethic or not making their avocado toast at home that’s holding these “snowflakes” back. 

The findings of the report suggest that there are much more serious challenges however, including poor physical and mental health among young people, as well as public policy and an education system that have both failed to equip young people for work. 

The estimated direct impact on the economy of these NEETs being economically inactive was a staggering £38 billion last year, with billions consequently foregone in tax revenues. 

Six in ten NEETS aged 16-24 are not looking for a job and a similar proportion have never worked, contributing to a surge in young NEETs claiming benefits. 

Many readers will recognise the experience described by young people interviewed for the report: trying to secure entry-level roles when a lot of them ask for prior experience, or applying for dozens of jobs only to be rejected time and time again by an automated hiring platform, without ever speaking to a real person. 

On the plus side, there’s probably now a critical mass of young people in the UK who are sufficiently disillusioned by remote interviewing tools to join a Butlerian Jihad against any future coup by AI overlords. 

Against a backdrop of stalling peace negotiations between the US and Iran, tensions appear to be escalating again in the Gulf. On Thursday, Kuwait’s government claimed that it intercepted "hostile missile and drone threats" aimed at a US airbase by Iran.

The US Central Command called the attacks an egregious violation of the ceasefire, just days after its own “self-defence” strikes on targets in Iran. Surprisingly, the irony appeared to be lost on CENTCOM. 

The fragility of the current situation raises the question of whether peace between the US and Iran is actually possible. Currently, they appear to be at an impasse over the future of Iran’s nuclear programme. 

A 60-day ceasefire extension was announced late on Thursday and, while several reports have emerged over the past six weeks that both sides were close to a definitive agreement, this may be the closest the conflict has come to ending. 

Brent crude closed slightly lower on Thursday, suggesting that markets tentatively think that the conflict will not escalate again. 

However, US Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent didn’t comment when questioned by reporters, saying that "It's always a mistake to get out ahead of the president". 

This means that he, like the rest of us, has no idea what the President will actually do when he takes a break from posting weird AI slop on X and studying the link between circumcisions and autism and turns his attention back to Iran. 

A negotiated solution now seems like the only way out of this conflict for the US.

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In an effort to secure the listings of SpaceX, OpenAI, and Anthropic on the Nasdaq, the exchange operator has relaxed its rules on how quickly a company can join the Nasdaq 100. 

Previously, a company listing its shares on the Nasdaq would have had to wait for several months after its listing to be included on the Nasdaq 100. New “fast-track” rules mean that it can now take just 15 days for eligible companies to be added to the Nasdaq 100.

Companies who fast-track their listings will be able to access the enormous retail capital pools behind index funds much more quickly than before (think popular tracker funds like QQQ). 

Concerns have been raised about frothy valuations of AI companies, and how the new listing rules may guarantee that retail capital will effectively cash out existing investors at the top of the market, potentially exposing retail investors to large losses.

So, is Elon about to pull a fast one on the chuds who worship him?

SpaceX’s listing won’t quite be a shitcoin-esque rug pull on retail investors as it may only float 3-4% of its shares, which probably would not move the needle in a diversified portfolio.

Musk will also be subject to lock-up on selling shares following the IPO. 

However, the door appears to be open for retail investors to be left holding the bag after future listings where much larger volumes of companies’ shares are funnelled into passive tracker funds. 

We are almost certain that Scam Altman will try and do this.

True to our horribly centrist hearts, it’s only fair that we’re balanced.

After some bad news about the UK (and there’s no shortage of that these days), let’s look on the bright side.

And beating the French at anything definitely counts as the bright side.

London's return to the top of the European techno scene was driven by stronger venture capital ​investment and continued unicorn creation.

Last year, London ​tech companies raised $17.7 billion, whilst the city is ⁠home to 138 unicorns - startups valued above $1 billion - ​including Wayve, Granola, OLIX and ElevenLabs.

London ranks fourth ​globally behind the Bay Area, New York and Boston.

Paris slid down into second place in Europe, and eighth globally.

It’s not all doom and gloom for Parisians though, as they’re still first in the rankings of European cities with psychiatric conditions named after them (sorry Stockholm).

In his first papal encyclical (basically an open letter to the bishops of the Catholic Church), Pope Leo XIV warns that AI must be 'disarmed', freed from logics of domination, exclusion, and death.

In his 40,000 word letter, which we definitely didn’t use Claude to summarise, he declared it 'not permissible' to entrust irreversible lethal decisions to AI, calling autonomous weapons a threat to moral responsibility and civilian safety.

This new Pope seems like a chill guy and all, but we’re not too sure the Vatican have always been on the right side of history when it comes to moral responsbility or child civilian safety.

Having said that, when friendly neighbourhood tech moguls and antichrists experts are popping up around Rome giving secret lectures about how to spot the antichrist, it seems sensible to have a counterweight to the growing influence of big tech and AI.

Through his encyclical, the Pope urges robust legal frameworks, independent oversight, and shared international criteria to curb the AI arms race and protect human dignity.

It’s either that or going around with a baseball bat smashing up data centres.

If you’re looking for some ‘hands on’ work experience over the summer, look no further.

Joi AI is hiring 10 “masturbation consultants” at $2,000 for a month to test an AI-guided masturbation feature and document its effects on stress, sleep, mood, and confidence.

They say the campaign is intended to collect product feedback while drawing attention to AI’s growing role in sexual wellness and digital intimacy.

I might get in ‘touch’. Sorry…

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Thanks to Sam & Charlie