Greetings, enlightened ones.

Welcome to your weekly roundup of the business and politics news you need to know from the UK and beyond, delivered in meme form.

Enough foreplay - let’s get down to business.

⏰ Today's reading time is 5 minutes.

Quote of the Week

Prime Minister Mark Carney, who is definitely NOT an IMF plant, secured a new term for his Liberal party in one of the most consequential elections in Canadian history.

It’s also a great comeback story. Well, as much as a former Golden Sachs central banker can be involved in a comeback story.

Following the resignation of Fidel Castro’s lovechild Justin Trudeau, the Liberals trailed their Conservative rivals by 25 points in the polls and looked set for certain electoral defeat, with Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre being seen as a shoe-in for future leader.

Now, Poilievre has lost his seat and the Liberals are set for a fourth consecutive term in office.

Canadians ultimately chose the stable, somewhat boring but effective banker-type, instead of the guy who took 10 years to get his bachelors degree and looks like Millhouse from the Simpsons.

Although final results were delayed (somebody spilled industrial quantities of maple syrup on the ballots), it was clear Canadians had chosen Carney, a former banker making his first run for national office, largely as a response to Trump’s economic and political provocations.

In his victory speech, Carney framed the election as a battle for national sovereignty, warning Canadians of the tough road ahead in resisting US pressure.

A massive power outage on Monday plunged most of Spain and Portugal into darkness, sparking widespread disruption and ongoing investigations.

Red Eléctrica, Spain’s national grid operator, ruled out both internal error and cyberattack as causes, though Spain’s High Court is still exploring the latter.

President Beatriz Corredor emphasised the resilience of Spain’s energy system and rejected claims that the blackout was linked to the country’s heavy use of renewable energy.

She praised the rapid response of engineers, with full power restored by 4 am of the same day.

Experts suggest the outage may be due to a complex mix of factors, possibly including grid maintenance or interconnector failures.

The Pint sources indicate that it could have been caused by one of the grid operators taking a longer siesta than anticipated and therefore not spotting key temparature changes that ended up shutting down the whole system. 

Spanish Prime Minister Patrick Bateman Pedro Sanchez has also cimed in, again denying any link to Spain’s renewable energy usage and announcing an official enquiry into the definite cause of the blackout.

Either way, judging by the comments on one of our posts, it seems like most people had a great time.

Microsoft overtakes Apple as world's most valuable company

Microsoft brought some welcome cheer to investors by reporting solid earnings for the first quarter. Revenues rose by 13%, year on year, to $70.1 billion and net profit increased by 18% to $25.8 billion.

Revenues from its cloud-computing division were in line with expectations, putting to rest for now market concerns of slower growth in the business.

But perhaps the biggest win will be in overtaking Apple as the biggest US company by market capitalisation.

Microsoft now has a market cap of $3.19 trillion, according to Dow Jones Market Data, surpassing Apple’s $3.16 trillion. Fine margins.

Nvidia is takes third place, with a valuation of $2.76 billion.

Year-to-date, Apple shares have declined by 15%, while its market cap has fallen by $609 billion.

The suits over on Wall Street are worried about how the tariffs will impact the sale of Apple iPhones and tablets, which are primarily manufactured in China.

The drop in Apple’s market valuation is the largest of any company at the start of a year, according to Dow Jones Market Data.

Microsoft better enjoy this whilst it lasts, because once the Orange POTUS figures out how to slap tariffs on software too, the tide could turn.

Golf equipment will be fine though.

Reform wins Runcorn by-election by just six votes in blow to Labour

Toady McToadface Nigel Farage’s Reform UK achieved a stunning upset in the Runcorn and Helsby by-election, narrowly defeating Labour by just six votes and overturning a 14,700-vote majority.

The result marks the smallest margin in a parliamentary by-election since WWII and delivers a symbolic blow to Keir Starmer’s premiership.

Reform’s candidate, Sarah Pochin, a former Conservative councillor, secured 38.6% of the vote after a three-hour recount, becoming the first non-Labour MP for the area in 52 years.

The byelection, triggered by Labour MP Mike Amesbury’s resignation after he knocked out one of his constituents, was seen as a major test of Farage’s ability to convert rising national support into parliamentary seats.

He declared the victory a pivotal moment, claiming Reform is now the true opposition. Labour’s campaign was marred by controversy over asylum policy rhetoric, while voter anger over national issues fueled Reform’s rise.

It’s important to note that Reform still only have 6/650 seats in Parliament, so their impact under this administriation will be limited.

But throw in this result with the fact they’ve also gained more councillors than any other party at this weeks elections, and it becomes harder and harder not to take them seriously as a political force in the UK.

US and Ukraine sign long-awaited natural resources deal

Trump and Zelenskyy took a break from cosplaying as Catholics at the Pope’s funeral to hash out the details of the US-Ukraine minerals deal, which has officially been signed as of yesterday.

The deal, championed by President Trump, is intended to incentivise continued American investment in Ukraine’s defence and post-war recovery, while also addressing US concerns about the scale of aid already provided since Russia’s 2022 invasion.

It was the same deal that they were meant to sign back in February before they got into a dick swinging competition in front of global press.

Ukraine holds vast reserves of critical minerals like lithium, titanium, and graphite, essential for renewable energy, defence technologies and infrastructure.

The agreement includes the creation of a joint 50/50 U.S.-Ukraine Reconstruction Investment Fund, which will support projects in minerals, oil, and gas.

I’ve seen this one, it’s a classic!

Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent called it a step toward "lasting peace and prosperity," and stressed American commitment to ensuring no Russian-linked entities benefit from Ukraine’s reconstruction.

Euro-area experienced 0.4% growth in Q1 while US economy contracted

The US’s economy shrank by 0.3% in the first quarter of the year at an annualised rate and its trade deficit swelled as companies rushed to build up inventories of foreign goods before tariffs came into effect.

Government spending also declined over the three months. I wonder why?

Meanwhile the Euro area’s GDP grew by 0.4% in the first quarter of 2025 compared with the last quarter of 2024, and by 1.2% year on year.

Germany saw their GDP expanded by 0.2%, quarter on quarter, perhaps helped by them rediscovering their passion for making tanks.

The European Central Bank (ECB) also cut interest rates again recently, taking the rate on its deposit facility to 2.25%, amid concerns that a trade war would hurt the currency bloc’s economy.

The ECB has shown a much greater willingness to cut rates than Trump’s arch nemesis Jerome “Master Oogway” Powell over at the Federal Reserve, which works in its favour when it comes to sustaining growth.

We wouldn’t crack out the champagne and clock off early for a celebratory Aperitivo just yet though…

Indicators of business and consumer optimism in Europe have fallen since the start of April and The European Commission’s economic sentiment indicator sagged to 93.6 in March, its lowest level since December, with a lot of negative business and consumer sentiment around tariffs and their impact on the European bloc.

The Pint recommends:

Bunce: UK business & tech updates that don't make you want to claw your eyes out.

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- how to ride trains for free

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- how to sneak into North Korea (really)

Check them out here

🍻Half Pints

Quick-fire news you might have missed

Memes of the Week

Potential Pope of the Week

The Conclave to elect the new Pope was announced this week, kicking off on May 7th. Trump wasted no time in throwing his hat in the ring, saying he wouldn’t mind the gig.

He’d be the Catholic Church’s first Pope of colour since the days of the Roman Empire. Even if the colour is orange…

That’s all for today.

We’ll be back, bigger and better, next week.

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Thanks to Marc and James