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Happy Friday esteemed audience,

It’s Halloween!

The only time of year where you can get away with dressing up as Patrick Bateman or a slutty cat without the fear of being judged by your peers.

For our office Halloween office party, we’ll all be going as degenerate alcoholics. So no need to get a costume.

Spooky shenanigangs aside, let’s get you up to speed with what happened in the UK and beyond this week.

⏰ Today's reading time is 5 minutes

Quote of the Week

UK trade deal with Gulf states ‘almost done’ after Rachel Reeves visit

Despite the British wingnut media complex trying to get her sacked this week, Rachel Reeves managed to secure £6.4 billion in trade and investment deals during her landmark visit to Saudi Arabia.

The package includes £5 billion in financing from UK Export Finance for Saudi projects using British suppliers, as well as a new Barclays regional HQ in Riyadh.

Reeves said the deals would “turbocharge” business opportunities and create thousands of UK jobs.

Funnily enough, she didn’t seem to bothered about the Kingdom’s murderous idiosyncrasies.

Good thing Angela Rayner’s no longer about to rain on that parade.

The visit, the first by a UK chancellor to Saudi Arabia since 2018 is part of Labour’s wider push for trade deals in the Gulf, expected to add £1.6 billion a year to GDP and boost UK wages by £600 million.

Maybe if she could also have a word with the UAE about stealing our billionaires, that would be great.

Best friends Donald Trump and Xi Jinping have struck a tentative truce after months of back and forth, agreeing to roll back recent tariffs and restrictions.

Meeting at a South Korean airbase, the two leaders pledged to pause new US tariffs on Chinese goods and delay China’s export controls on rare earths.

Washington will also halve a tariff linked to China’s fentanyl exports, while Beijing resumes purchases of American soybeans.

Crucially though, the agreement leaves a hefty 47% tariff on Chinese goods and sidesteps bigger flashpoints like invading Taiwan and AI chip exports.

Markets welcomed the pause in hostilities, though there are doubts about the deals stability, as the Orange Maniac said it could be renegotiated annually.

MAGA wingnuts are calling Trump a tactical genius for the rare earths and soybeans win, whilst enlightened libtards are mostly praising Winnie the Pooh Xi for having “played” Trump into giving concessions yet again.

As is often the case, there’s a bit of truth to both sides.

Javier Milei’s party triumphs in Argentina’s midterm elections

Argentina’s President and chainsaw-wielding nutjob Javier Milei has won a sweeping midterm victory, giving his ‘libertarian’ Freedom Advances party nearly double its previous seats and cementing his grip on power.

His 41% vote share sent bonds and stocks surging as investors bet on more free-market reforms.

Milei, a self-styled “anarcho-capitalist” and former rock singer, has ruled largely by decree and has faced considerable pushback, but now faces a weaker opposition, making it harder for congress to override his vetoes.

Trump and his Treasury secretary Scott Bessent have backed the president with a $20 billion swap line and recent peso purchases that lifted the currency, reminding us of the old Maggie Thatcher quote:

Despite the euphoria, Milei still lacks a majority in congress, and austerity fatigue is growing as real wages have plunged 20% since 2023.

With the election win, he can now call on a stronger mandate for his economic reforms and try and get Argentina to fulfill some of the undeniable economic potential that it has.

Nvidia becomes first company to be worth $5 trillion

Nvidia has become the first company in history to hit a $5 trillion market valuation, cementing its role as the undisputed leader of the global AI boom.

The milestone, reached just three months after crossing $4 trillion, pushes the chipmaker’s value above the entire cryptocurrency market.

Shares jumped 3% after CEO Jensen “Ghost Rider” Huang announced $500 billion in AI chip orders and plans to build seven U.S. government supercomputers.

Huang’s personal fortune now stands at roughly $179 billion, making him the world’s eighth-richest person, and perhaps more impressively, the only person on the Forbes rich list to have never worn a suit.

Nvidia's share price was further boosted by a wave of new deals this week, including partnerships with the South Korean government, Nokia, Uber and Stellantis - moves aimed at reassuring investors that AI investments deliver returns and aren’t just a massive circle jerk.

UK vows to end illegal gig economy work for migrants

Arrests for illegal working in the UK have hit a record high, with more than 8,000 people detained in the past year after 11,000 raids on takeaways, car washes, beauty salons, and delivery firms.

The crackdown, part of “Operation Raheem Sterling,” marks a 63% rise in arrests year-on-year, with over 1,000 foreign nationals have already been deported.

With Reform UK breathing down their necks, the government is now extending “right to work” checks to gig economy employers like Deliveroo and Uber Eats, closing a loophole that let platform-based workers avoid verification.

Under the new rules, bosses who skip checks could face fines of £60,000 per illegal worker or up to five years in prison.

Home Secretary Shabana Mahmood said illegal working fuels small boat crossings and promised to “do whatever it takes to secure Britain’s borders.”

Because ‘native’ Brits are absolutely chomping at the bit to plug the labour gap that this will create…

OpenAI completes shift from non-profit to for-profit structure

OpenAI has officially transitioned into a for-profit company, clearing the path for major fundraising, and potentially an IPO. 

Considering that they were basically founded as a charity, that’s pretty fucking nuts.

As part of the shift, Microsoft has taken a 27% stake in the ChatGPT-maker under a new deal that lets both companies pursue the apocalypse artificial general intelligence (AGI) independently.

The updated partnership extends Microsoft’s rights to OpenAI’s models through 2032 but excludes consumer hardware.

CEO Scam Sam Altman will remain without an equity stake, while an external expert panel will verify any claim that OpenAI has achieved AGI.

Just don’t expect Steve Wozniak and Meghan Markle to be ok with it.

Now valued at $500 billion with 800 million weekly users (5 million paying ones), OpenAI is expanding aggressively, launching the AI browser ChatGPT Atlas, video generator Sora, and it’s own soft-core porn feature.

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🍻Half Pints

Quick-fire news you might have missed

Honeypot of the Week

On the off chance that any Chinese or Russian agent provocateurs are reading this, I can confirm that The Pint is harbouring a huge amount of sensitive intelligence and state secrets.

I can also be extremely partial to accidentally revealing them, especially back at my place, over a bottle of Spanish red and some of Marvin Gaye’s greatest hits.

That’s all for today, but before you go…

We’re always open to feedback (and hate-mail), so feel free to reply and we’ll get back to you within 5 “working” days.

Barring an act of god or being kidnapped by Mossad the deep state, we’ll see you next week.

Thanks to Connor and Jack