- The Pint
- Posts
- 🍺 It's ok if it's in a threeway
🍺 It's ok if it's in a threeway
The week's news in memes
In partnership with
Send stories, jokes and hate mail to [email protected]
Happy Friday you beautiful people,
Summer is officially over, and we’re definitely not slightly devastated by that sobering fact.
Now it’s time for that weird back to school/new beginnings/quiet nostalgia feeling that you still can’t quite shake well into your 20s. Or maybe that’s just me.
Existential musings aside, the news doesn’t take summer off (unlike Italians), so let’s get you up to speed with what you need to know, all via carefully crafted memes.
⏰ Today's reading time is 5 minutes
Quote of the Week
“I’m a very stable genius, actually.”
Google gets to keep Chrome, judge rules in search antitrust case
A judge has ruled on how Google must respond to being found guilty of illegally monopolising online search.
The American search engine will not be forced to sell Chrome, despite prosecutors arguing the browser is a critical entry point that locks in its dominance. Judge Amit Mehta said a divestiture would be “messy and risky”, likely harming users, since Chrome can’t really operate as a standalone business.
Google will also be allowed to keep paying companies like Apple and Mozilla to make its search engine the default, with Judge Amit Mehta warning that cutting off those payments could starve browsers of revenue without meaningfully denting Google’s power.
Instead, the remedies focus on smaller, more targeted steps: Google must share a one-time set of search data with rivals to help them build their engines and stop exclusive distribution deals.
The judge suggested that new competition to internet search from the likes of (another budding monopolist) OpenAI had “changed the course” of the case.
The DOJ, which had asked for bolder measures including recurring access to Google’s search queries (not creepy at all) was left with far less than it wanted.
It’s strange considering America’s long and storied reputation for siding with consumers over corporate interests.
Critics like DuckDuckGo and the American Economic Liberties Project say the ruling barely dents Google’s grip. To be fair, DuckDuckGo are a direct competitor, so they’re going to shit on anything that goes Google’s way.
This is the biggest antitrust remedies decision since Microsoft in the 1990s, but it could be years before any changes kick in, especially since Google can now appeal the underlying ruling that it’s a monopolist.
Modernize your marketing with AdQuick
AdQuick unlocks the benefits of Out Of Home (OOH) advertising in a way no one else has. Approaching the problem with eyes to performance, created for marketers with the engineering excellence you’ve come to expect for the internet.
Marketers agree OOH is one of the best ways for building brand awareness, reaching new customers, and reinforcing your brand message. It’s just been difficult to scale. But with AdQuick, you can easily plan, deploy and measure campaigns just as easily as digital ads, making them a no-brainer to add to your team’s toolbox.
Angela Rayner will be unable to further raid Keir Starmer’s whiskey cabinet after resigning as deputy prime minister, housing secretary and deputy leader of the Labour Party over her tax affairs.
Here’s the TLDR of it so you don’t have to sift through pages of wing nut porn/The Telegraph:
She had taken her name off the deeds of her Ashton-under-Lyne home shortly before buying an ÂŁ800,000 seafront flat in Hove, which reportedly cut her stamp duty bill by ÂŁ40,000.
Although she sold her 25% share of the Ashton property to a trust set up with NHS compensation money for her disabled son, the home remained listed as her primary residence for council tax purposes.
Rayner insisted she acted on legal advice, initially believing standard stamp duty applied, but later being told the higher rate was due because of the trust arrangement.
She self-reported to the ethics adviser, contacted HMRC to settle any unpaid tax and denied deliberately dodging taxes.
In her resignation letter, Rayner accepted full responsibility for what she called an “error” and acknowledged the controversy had made it untenable for her to remain in government.
She had been a vocal critic of tax dodging and crack-den flat renovations, so it’s understandable that she put herself in a bit of a tricky spot with this.
At the same time, she could have just used the excuse that she’d been reading too much of The Telegraph’s Money section.
Her exit immediately triggered a cabinet reshuffle, with the equally as attention to detail-oriented David Lammy (formerly the Foreign Secretary) replacing her as Deputy Prime Minister.
Shame really, as she seemed like one of the only people in the government who’d actually be any fun on a night out.
Sounds like your average 19 year old British man
China, Russia and India seek to push for new world order in Beijing meeting
Xi Jinping has spent the past week staging a diplomatic showcase in Beijing — hosting the Shanghai Cooperation Organisation summit, presiding over a military parade with notorious midget dictators Putin and Kim Jong Un and pitching China as the hub of a new global order.
The optics suggest unity, but the underlying alliances are more fragile than they look.
He was seen cozying up with Putin, but whilst discount Stalin wants to present Russia as an equal player in the relationship, recent trade patterns between the two leave Russia looking increasingly more like a Chinese vassal state than a “partner”.
As for Modi, his first trip to China in seven years signalled a thaw, with both sides talking up “mutual respect” and Beijing even breaking precedent to condemn April’s terror attacks in Kashmir — a key Indian demand.
For Xi, drawing India closer would strengthen the SCO’s clout and give ballast to his rivalry with the US.
But Modi skipped the military parade that featured Kim Jong Un, a sign India perhaps isn’t ready to be seen at Winnie the Pooh’s afternoon tea club just yet.
Trump’s decision to punish India over a spat about Pakistan has ironically made Xi’s job easier, weakening two decades of US courtship of New Delhi.
If Washington keeps alienating its allies, Xi’s sphere of influence could stretch well beyond Asia, picking up disgruntled former US-allies along the way.
It does make you wonder though, what do they talk about when their interpreters aren’t around?
US economy adds fewer jobs than expected in August, confirming slowdown
The US economy added just 22,000 jobs in August, with unemployment rising to 4.3%, the highest in nearly four years.
Manufacturing and construction both shed 25,000 jobs, raising alarms about the impact of Trump’s tariffs and tighter immigration rules.
The weak figures follow a string of grim signals: job openings have fallen to their lowest since 2024, unemployment claims ticked up and the Fed’s Beige Book reported firms were hesitant to hire.
At the same time, certain industries are reporting labour shortages following the MAGA immigration crackdown, risking a scenario where the unemployed sit around waiting for a pointless desk job as opposed to going and filling labour gaps in things like agriculture and manufacturing.
The White House spun the data as proof Trump has created “half a million jobs for American-born workers,” while blaming the Federal Reserve for not cutting rates. Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer said Fed chair Jerome Powell should be “embarrassed” by the numbers.
If his recent outings with Trump are anything to go by, we doubt Powell will give too much of a shit.
Putin rejects Western security in Ukraine, warning troops would be target
After a Paris summit where 26 allies pledged troops to secure Ukraine the moment a ceasefire is agreed, Vladimir Putin dismissed the plan, warning any foreign troops would be “legitimate targets.”
As opposed to civilians, who in his eyes are probably more like “target practice.”
The Teacher’s Pet Emmanuel Macron stressed the proposed force would not fight Russia but act as a buffer against renewed aggression. To be fair, he is French so there isn’t much risk of fighting anyway.
The US has kept its role vague, with Trump hinting at possible air support instead of committing boots on the ground.
Moscow ridiculed the idea, demanding it be treated as a “guarantor” of Ukrainian security — which is a bit like the person who just broke into your house asking if you’d also like them to hook you up with a good home security system.
Putin has invited Zelensky to meet in Moscow, but as he probably doesn’t fancy being poisoned or sent for a one-way all expenses paid trip to Siberia, Zelensky insists on a neutral meeting point.
Behind the dick-swinging, the Kremlin insists its offensive is advancing and has no interest in a simple ceasefire without a full peace deal i.e territorial concessions and guarantees of Ukraine not joining NATO.
NATO chief Mark Rutte underlined that Russia has “no veto” on troop deployments, but most European governments are cautious about openly committing forces, wary of feeding Putin’s “West versus Russia” narrative.
All the while, European arms manufacturers continue to ramp up production as Europe and Russia continue their weird WW3 “will they, won’t they” flirtation.
UK sells inflation-linked debt at highest cost in over 20 years
The UK government has just sold £800m of 20-year inflation-linked gilts at a yield of 2.41% — the highest cost of borrowing for this type of debt since 2001. The auction was heavily oversubscribed, drawing more than £3 billion in bids, the strongest demand for “linkers” since 1998.
Despite the surge in yields, investor demand for UK debt remains strong.
The UK is still viewed as political stable (for now), with good financial infrastructure, the English language and appropriately shit enough food and weather to keep people from not working for too long (take notes, mainland Europe).
The sale comes in the middle of a global bond sell-off, as investors brace for persistent inflation, elevated interest rates and swelling government debt.
Earlier this week, the yield on 30-year UK gilts hit 5.74%, its loftiest level since 1998, before easing slightly to 5.59% on Thursday. Long-dated US Treasuries and German and French bonds have also seen yields climb before dipping back.
The government’s Debt Management Office is paying a premium to borrow, with Tuesday’s £9 billion auction of ten-year gilts clearing at the highest yield since the 2008 financial crisis.
Bank of England governor Andrew Bailey urged against “exaggerating the 30-year bond rate”, noting it’s less relevant to household borrowing costs like mortgages. Still, he acknowledged that the Bank’s own gilt sales must take account of market conditions.
Fact-based news without bias awaits. Make 1440 your choice today.
Overwhelmed by biased news? Cut through the clutter and get straight facts with your daily 1440 digest. From politics to sports, join millions who start their day informed.
🍻Half Pints
Quick-fire news you might have missed
Meme of the Week
Balkan Historian of the Week
We all have an uncle (or two) who sound like an awful lot like Jovan after a few drinks.
That’s all for today, but before you go…
Barring an act of god or being kidnapped by Mossad, we’ll be back, bigger and better, next week.
We’re always open to feedback (and hate-mail), so feel free to reply and we’ll get back to you within 5 “working” days.
How was it for you?Today's edition was... |
Thanks to Jack and Fred
Reply