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The week's news in memes

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Happy Friday to you all,

Try to enjoy it, as it may be one of the last ones before we all get drafted to go and die for Israel in World War III.

We appreciate you choosing to spend some of the time you have left with us.

Let’s get you your weekly roundup of the business and politics news you need to know from the UK and beyond.

⏰ Today's reading time is 5 minutes

Quote of the Week

❝

“I’m not perverted, I’m just Italian.”

Andrew Cuomo

Global oil prices soar after Israel attacks Iran

Global oil prices jumped after Israel launched attacks on Iranian nuclear sites and military targets, escalating tensions in the Middle East and surely cementing Benjamin Netanyahu’s Nobel Peace Prize for 2025.

Before you call us crazy, remember they gave one to Henry Kissenger.

Brent crude briefly surged over 10%, hitting its highest level since January before easing slightly to about $74.65 per barrel — still 8% higher than Thursday’s close.

Markets are spooked that a wider conflict could disrupt oil supplies from the region, and fighting-age men are spooked that their summer could be ruined by being drafted into another pointless 20 year sandbox war.

If Iran’s production or exports get hit, analysts say Brent could spike to $80-$100. But other oil producers would likely boost output, capping long-term price rises and inflationary pressure.

Iran responded by firing roughly 100 drones at Israel, and its Supreme Leader Admiral General Aladeen Ayatollah Ali Khamenei has warned of a “crushing response” to the attacks.

Analysts warn that while this could be defused — as similar flare-ups were last year — the risk remains that it spirals into a conflict affecting the Strait of Hormuz, a chokepoint for 20% of global oil shipments.

UK petrol prices haven’t moved yet, but could if wholesale prices stay elevated and retailers pass costs on.

For now, it’s a “wait and see” scenario. As MST Financial’s Saul Kavonic put it: “The market will need to price factor in where this could escalate to.”

So much for everything being priced in

Reeves refuses to rule out tax rises after UK economy shrinks

The UK economy shrank 0.3% in April — its worst drop in 18 months with higher business taxes, soaring bills and falling exports to the US taking their toll.

Chancellor Rachel Reeves called the figures “disappointing” and notably refused to rule out more tax rises in her upcoming autumn Budget.

Economists say “Rachel from Accounts” may have little choice.

With NHS and defence spending rising and the economy sluggish, the Institute for Fiscal Studies warns more taxes are “almost certain” without stronger growth. The Resolution Foundation agrees, citing new spending pledges and a weaker outlook.

For now, longer-term projects like The European Silicon Valley and nuclear plant Sizewell C are meant to boost growth; they are long-term plays and won’t quench the short-term bloodlust of capital markets and interest payments.

Tax rises may be the only way to finance these projects if growth remains sluggish.

Council tax is already expected to rise 5% a year, while employers are still struggling with National Insurance hikes and higher business rates.

Labour have already promised not to touch the “Holy Trinity” of income tax, national insurance or VAT for 5 years, but given their love for U-turns, we wouldn’t put it past them at this rate.

Trump sends another 2,000 National Guards and 700 Marines to LA to subdue immigration riots

 

President Trump ordered 2,700 additional National Guard troops and Marines into Los Angeles, escalating a military presence that California officials — including Governor Gavin Newscum Newsom and LA Mayor Karen Bass — strongly oppose.

The protests erupted after federal agents arrested over 40 people during workplace immigration raids, triggering four days of demonstrations across LA and other US cities.

Local police say the deployments are creating “logistical challenges” and insist they can manage the protests without federal intervention.

While protests have remained mostly peaceful, a few bad actors (it is LA after all) have taken advantage of the chaos to destroy some property and do some good ol’ fashion looting.

Some rioters even set fire to a fleet of self-driving Waymo taxis. That definitely won’t come back to bite them in the ass.  

The Marines have so far focused on guarding federal property, but their arrival — reportedly via a convoy of blacked-out buses — has further inflamed tensions over Trump’s hardline immigration policies, as well as the sexual tension between him and Gavin Newsom.

This National Guard activation marks one of the rare times in decades a president has deployed troops into a state without the governor’s consent, invoking laws typically reserved for rebellion-like scenarios. The last such case was in 1965 during the civil rights movement.

Disney and Universal sue AI firm Midjourney over images

Disney and Universal are suing San Francisco-based AI startup Midjourney, accusing it of mass copyright infringement for generating images of characters like Yoda, Spiderman, Darth Vader, Elsa and the Minions.

The lawsuit claims Midjourney’s tool spits out countless near-copies of iconic characters, just placing them in new settings or poses.

Disney’s top lawyer Horacio Gutierrez called the use of AI “promising” but bluntly added: “Piracy is piracy.”

Midjourney is run by David Holz (ex-Leap Motion) with advisors like ex-Github CEO Nat Friedman and Second Life founder Philip Rosedale. It’s also reportedly developing a video-generation service — likely adding more fuel to Disney’s fears.

It also refuses to call itself a startup, identifying as “an independent research lab”.

Fair enough, but we haven’t heard of many “independent research labs” that make $300 million a year in revenue.

Midjourney’s lawyers argue that the AI’s outputs are original enough to dodge infringement claims — copyright law does allow for new creations based on earlier work, so long as they add a “distinctive contribution.”

The studios suing Midjourney aren’t buying it. They claim the AI isn’t really creating anything new, just repackaging existing art in a new format — a kind of fancy plagiarism.

With AI tools like Midjourney getting better (and more popular), drawing the line between fan art, parody or outright theft is getting messier.

Apple's stock drops following underwhelming WWDC keynote

Apple’s new iOS 26 design, Liquid Glass, debuted this week at WorldWide Developer Conference 2025 and it’ll certaintly go down as one of the product announcements of all time, leaving many confused as to what the fuck it actually does.

The redesign features a translucent, fluid interface that now covers everything from buttons to the lock screen.

Apple’s VP of Human Interface Development Alan Dye claimed it combines “the optical qualities of glass with a fluidity only Apple can achieve.”

Once again, what the fuck does that actually mean?

All the talk of fluidity and glass left markets unconvinced, with Apple stock dropping 1.5%, bringing it to 19% down for 2025 so far, the worst performing of the big tech stocks.

Market sentiment may be onto something when it comes to Apple’s approach to AI.

Siri has long trailed competitors and Apple's privacy-first approach - great for selling iPhones - is bad for training massive AI models.

This leaves it struggling to keep up with OpenAI, Google, and Meta.

The firm tried running small AI models directly on devices to protect user data, but the results haven't wowed anyone yet.

Before trying to catch up with their rivals in terms of AI, they may want to figure out how to position thumbnails correctly on Youtube first.

Spanish PM says knew 'nothing' about corruption case involving his top aide

Pedro SĂĄnchez: great at having an opinion on Eurovision, not so great at picking his staff.

The walls seem to be closing in on the Spanish Prime Minister and Patrick Bateman lookalike, who is fighting off fresh corruption trouble after his Socialist Party secretary Santos CerdĂĄn resigned amid a widening probe into his corruption.

Cerdán, suspected of helping rig public contracts during the pandemic, quit “to defend the government.” Talk about selflessness.

SĂĄnchez says he knew absolutely nothing about how a man he had worked with for 15 years was corrupt as fuck.

A leaked police report alleges CerdĂĄn, ex-Transport Minister JosĂ© Luis Ábalos and Ábalos’s former advisor discussed kickbacks for contracts — with Ábalos doing so well out of them he could afford to give his student mistress two fake government jobs and send her on luxury holidays with her boyfriend.

Silvio Berlusconi is smiling down from heaven (or up from hell, depending on your poitical leanings).

CerdĂĄn will testify before the Supreme Court on June 25th.

This adds to a growing pile of headaches for Pedro, whose wife and brother are also being investigated for alleged corruption.

Tens of thousands rallied in Madrid last weekend against SĂĄnchez, as polls show the rival Popular Party being narrowly ahead should elections be called.

The PM has apologised for the scandal, but he has refused to resign, claiming that whilst it is abhorrant, “zero corruption” is not possible.

đŸ»Half Pints

Quick-fire news you might have missed

Memes of the Week

via Insomniac Millennial

Deportation of the Week

We ran a poll on our Instagram this week to determine the successor to Andrew Tate for Deportation of the Week.

The winner was Greta MacThunberg, Sweden’s third greatest export after Zlatan and IKEA meatballs.

She beat off some stiff competition from Italian Tiktok superstar Khaby Lame, but came through with 58% of the vote.

It’s a crying shame our two favourite Deportees don’t seem to get along too well.

That’s all for today.

We’ll be back, bigger and better, next week.

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