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Greetings you rascals,

AI may eventually kill us all and/or slowly turn us into the fat people in mobility scoopers from WALL.E, but in the meantime, we’re still here and have the full use of our limbs.

Oh, and thanks to all of you who answered our survey. We appreciate it more than you know.

Anyway, enough flirting.

Here’s your weekly dose of news, delivered in a format that doesn’t make you want to jump off the nearest bridge.

⏰ Today's reading time is 7 minutes

The EU is introducing a concrete legislative proposal which would create ‘optional European legal frameworks that companies can choose when operating across borders’.

About fucking time. They’ve only been discussing it for the past 1800 years (not including summer holidays of course).

The issue at the moment is that when companies are cross-border in the EU zone, they are still subject to 27 different legal systems when they look to scale-up or expand.

This, as you can imagine, creates a whole bunch of bureaucratic headaches, as well as lots of ability for useless professions to make a lot of money.

Speaking of useless professions, the notary lobby in Germany kicked up a bit of a fuss over the proposal, incensed at the fact people may have figured out that €10k for overseeing the signing of a few documents is in fact, a bit steep.

This new legal framework seeks to gradually remove internal barriers that fragment the Single Market, making it easier to create, operate and expand companies. 

After several centuries of affairs, threats and sleeping in separate beds, it's official:

The United Kingdom wants to break up. More accurately, England is being dumped.

The news came last week, when the leaders of Scotland, Wales and N. Ireland's nationalist parties announced their shared intention to seek independence at a press conference in Cardiff.

In a memorandum signed by all three, the parties detailed that Wales feels they need to "find themselves again", N. Ireland thought they could handle polyamory but are no longer sure, and Scotland really means it this time.

England, in a press conference to his buddies that night, countered that he actually finished with them, that he "doesn't miss them at all. Like, at all. [Sniff] Better off without 'em”, and “doesn’t care because he’s still got the Isle of Man anyway and she’s an absolute belter.”

Upon learning that their former missuses were considering getting back together with the EU, it’s reported England had a little cry, called them “total slags”, and that the Union can “have’em, see if I care.”

Funnily enough, this was all triggered by Donald Trump. Never fancied him as a provo, but what do I know.

Following a string of whistleblowings and defections from within the world of AI, suspicion of the enterprise is at an all-time high.

If researchers, safety experts and former executives are to be believed, the possibility that this technological forefront results in “the end of humanity” has moved from a consideration within the field to a near certainty.

Recent polling suggests this attitude is reflected by the populace; Pew Research data from this past summer found that Americans are more ‘concerned’ than ‘excited’ by AI, with many respondents citing their personal experiences of psychosis, expectations of mass death, and that Wendy’s new AI-assisted drive-thru “keeps messing up their order” among other reasons.

Thankfully, OpenAI boss and wet-faced daemon-summoner Sam Altman was able to assuage concerns at a press conference in San Francisco this past Tuesday:

While several key figures in the president’s orbit have endorsed strict regulation, President Trump has criticised calls for sturdier legal guardrails on AI, instead asserting that the only thing required to ensure public safety is a “strong and smart” president.

When pressed, a presidential aide suggested to the press corps that ‘strong’ be read as “old” and ‘smart’ as “not necessarily.”

Everyone’s chasing the next AI trade.

Meanwhile, a small, undiscovered corner of the market keeps delivering — film bridge lending.

Studios sit on millions in approved tax credits, signed distribution contracts, and completion bonds they can’t access yet. 

Bridge lenders step in, fill the gap, and get repaid when the credit clears or the deal closes. 

These are not complicated structured products. They’re simple, short-duration asset-backed loans (12-16 weeks) lent to productions that are already greenlit. The kind of boring that works.

If you’re an accredited investor looking for yield that doesn’t move with the S&P, this is worth your attention.

See the current deals.

Canada, against all the geographical odds, is on track to become an ‘associate member’ of the European Union, after European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen told the European Parliament that she wanted to ‘open the door’ for Canada’s entry. 

If you listen closely enough, you can hear the screams of millions of Macedonians/Turks/Albanians/Georgians/Remainers in the distance.

On the one hand, it’s a bold move and it is a concretisation of a shifting alliance system which is centred in Europe rather than the United States.

The ‘middle powers’ coming together to stand up to the US and China. The kind of stuff that gets The Economist readers hornier than a 15 year old.

On the other hand, it does seem to be a bit of a ‘fuck you’ to the Orange Maniac from Carney, who, as a smooth talking, bilingual former banker (yes I do fancy him a bit), likes to consider himself the complete opposite of Trump.

Trade talks between Canada and the US collapsed last month, sparking a series of new tariffs. Trump's repeated talk of making Canada a "51st state" has also stoked the fire and helped lead Carney into the arms of his new European lovers.

So just when you think you’ve got enough French people in your political bloc, you may suddenly inherit millions of even weirder French people.

Just spare a thought for the UK, who after voting to leave the European Union in 2016, is now watching all her so called ''mates’’ become best-friends with her ex.

For the first time in almost three years, the U.S. Federal Reserve has hiked its interest rates in a bid to tackle the ever-mounting inflation and cost-of-living crisis. 

The unanimous vote raised the benchmark interest rate from 3.75% to 4%.

A yuge 0.25% increase.

It’s honestly a pretty bog standard move and is in line with what the European Central Bank has already done and what the Bank of England is likely to do at some point given current inflation rates. 

What isn’t bog standard, is Trump’s reaction to it. 

Kevin Warsh, the Head of the Fed who took over from Master Oogway Jerome Powell, has realised that his term as Fed chair will outlast Trump’s term in office, and he wants history to remember him well.

Or at least not as the guy who tanked the U.S. economy so that an 80 year old who spray paints himself the same colour as Oompa Loompas refers to him as a ‘great guy’.

Trump posted on Truth Social that interest rates should be less than 1% and complained about the U.S.’s trade deficit.

He then posted that the US was ‘carrying’ almost every country in the World, and that cannot go on any longer. LOWER THE INTEREST RATES FOR THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND FAST!’

In the words of Passenger: ‘you only know you love her when you let her go’.

The Houthis, an Iran-backed militia based in Yemen and definitely the world’s best- dressed terrorists, have launched a lightning advance which has enabled them to seize Perim Island, which lies at the mouth of the waterway in the Bab al-Mandab Strait.

And why should I give a shit about this place I can barely pronounce?

The island itself isn’t so much the issue – it’s the fact that its possession gives the Houthis strategic control of the Bab al-Mandab waterway which connects the Gulf of Aden to the the Red Sea and allows oil to be transported out via the Suez Canal to the Mediterranean. 

You’ve heard of that, I bet, huh?

The Iranians have mines and almost complete control of the Strait of Hormuz, and now the Iranians (through the Houthis) have almost complete control of the Bab al-Mandab Strait. 

In fairness to the Houthis, what started as a pretty fringe, mountainous group of Zaydist Muslims in Northern Yemen, has now morphed into a legitimate threat in the region.

It’s not all rags to riches, as they are backed by the deep pockets of Iran, but they’re largely independent for the most part.

Over the past few years, they’ve acquired ballistic missiles that can reach Israel (who they aren’t fond of as you can imagine), pose a substantial threat to Saudi Arabia (their greatest opponent), and have become pretty handy at vibe coding apparently, having recently used Claude Code to build a guided weapons system.

And here I am struggling to get it to read a PDF properly.

AI may have a 10% chance of wiping out humanity, but it could never come up with a headline like this.

Funnily enough, I was also once reduced to a similar state after being refused my 18th alcoholic beverage on a flight from London to Bilbao.

Not my finest hour, but at least I never stooped as low as racial slurs.

Anyway, enjoy the headline and have a great weekend.

We’d love it if you left us some feedback as to how you found this edition.

Our intern will get back to you within 4-5 business days, once we’ve let them out of the basement for their legally mandated half an hour of fresh air.

Thanks to Dino & Helen