Greetings, enlightened ones.

Welcome to your weekly roundup of the business and politics news you need to know, delivered in meme form.

If you’d rather spoon your eyes out with boredom reading The Financial Times, you know where the door is.

Enough silly business, let’s get stuck in.

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Quote of the Week

The UK government borrowed £151.9 billion in the 2024/25 financial year—£14.6 billion more than expected and £20.7 billion more than the previous year, according to new ONS data.

That’s 5.3% of GDP, a level not seen since the early 1960s, when Britain was often referred to as the “sick man of Europe”.

Then a certain Maggie Thatcher turned up, and the rest is history.

The surge in borrowing is being driven by a few things:

• Inflation-linked costs: Higher public sector pay and benefits increased spending faster than rising revenues.

• Debt servicing: Soaring bond yields meant March alone racked up a £4.3 billion debt interest bill.

• Government spending: Big investments, such as the European Silicon Valley project announced, have helped drive the rise.

• Global turmoil: Trade wars and a shaky global economy have raised the cost of borrowing.

Chancellor Rachel “From Accounts” Reeves tried to plug a £10 billion gap in March’s Spring Statement, but inflation is expected to rise beyond 3%, squeezing household budgets further.

We’re also probably due an increase in taxes, despite promises not to. Lovely.

New taxes on employment—via higher minimum wages and National Insurance—may also hurt jobs and investment, business groups warn.

With debt now at 95.8% of GDP, and public sector borrowing at record levels, questions are mounting, namely, can this current Labour government straddle the line between implementing long-term structural changes to the economy and the short-termism of politics?

In the middle of a trade standoff with the US, the European Commission pulled off one of its signature moves: slapping Americans with huge fines.

Apple have been fined €500 million and Meta €200 million for failing to comply with the new Digital Markets Act (DMA).

In case you’re interested in looking into the DMA in more depth, there’s a good breakdown here.

• Apple was penalised for preventing app developers from directing users to cheaper or alternative offers outside its App Store—effectively stifling competition.

• Meta’s “pay or consent” advertising model was found to violate the DMA. The model gave users a choice between either handing over personal data for targeted ads or paying a subscription, which regulators deemed coercive.

It’s almost as if these companies are run to make money for shareholders, but whatever.

To be fair, the fines are relatively modest for EU standards, which allow penalties of up to 10% of annual turnover. Little-known startup Google were once fined €1.49 billion back in 2019 for abusive advertising practices.

More on them later.

Both companies must comply with the Commission’s rulings within 60 days or face daily penalty payments (which they’ll most definitely be able to afford anyway).

And if you’re thinking the EU are bluffing on all this, think again. They’re pretty hardcore when it comes to taking on tech companies. Less so on being productive, but that’s by the by.

Back in 2022 Meta threatened to leave the EU entirely over data transfer restrictions, and was met with the following response.

India and Pakistan trade gunfire as tensions rise over deadly Kashmir attack

Tensions have escalated between best of friends and neighbours India and Pakistan, after a tragic terrorist attack in the Indian-administered region of Kashmir.

On April 22nd, gunmen opened fire on tourists in the popular hill station of Pahalgam, killing 26 people—25 of them Indian citizens and one Nepali.

Responsibility for the attack was claimed by the Kashmir Resistance, also known as The Resistance Front (TRF), a relatively new militant group believed by Indian authorities to be linked to the banned Islamist organisation Lashkar-e-Taiba.

In response to the massacre, India swiftly blamed Pakistan and launched a series of punitive measures. These include downgrading diplomatic ties, closing key border crossings, restricting visas for Pakistani citizens, and expelling military attachés from Pakistan’s High Commission in New Delhi.

Most notably, India announced the suspension of its participation in the Indus Water Treaty, a historical olive branch of sorts and a rare example of long-standing cooperation between the two countries.

This treaty governs the sharing of the Indus River system, which is vital to both nations. Pakistan responded by warning that any attempt to block or divert water would be considered an act of war.

Kashmir has been a flashpoint between the two nations since the 1947 partition of British India, with both countries claiming the region in full but controlling different parts.

Warren Buffett now owns more Treasury bills than the Federal Reserve

Warren Buffett, through Berkshire Hathaway, now holds nearly 5% of the entire U.S. Treasury bill market, locking up $300.87 billion in short-term government debt.

This position, broken down into $14.4 billion in ultra-short-term bills (under three months to maturity) and $286.47 billion in other short-term Treasury investments, makes Buffett the single largest private holder of T-bills, surpassing the Federal Reserve itself, which holds just over $195 billion.

It comes as the current Federal Reserve chairman Jerome Powell engages in a cold war with Donald Trump over macroeconomic policy, namely the former’s refusal to lower interest rates.

In response, Trump labelled him a “big loser” and questioned the central bank’s independence.

Despite this, the Orange Maniac has ruled out firing Master Oogway Powell, but the beef is likely far from over.

Trump wants lower interest rates as the economy slows, partly due to his own shooting himself in the foot trade policies, and he sees Powell as a convenient scapegoat.

The Fed now faces a bit of a Sophie’s Choice: cut rates to support growth or hold firm to curb rising inflation, risking more political backlash.

OpenAI is eyeing up purchase of Google Chrome

ChatGPT’s head of product, Nick Turley, testified under oath that the company would be interested in buying Google Chrome if antitrust regulators force Alphabet to sell the browser.

Turley also revealed that OpenAI had previously pitched a search partnership with Google. They were promptly told to fuck off, but it was a signal of its growing interest in search infrastructure.

For OpenAI, acquiring Chrome would be a game-changer. The browser offers a direct distribution channel for ChatGPT, its upcoming search engine and future LLM-based applications.

Beyond user reach, Chrome would allow OpenAI to run models directly in the browser, easing the load on its GPUs and significantly lowering service costs.

Chrome would provide access to a vast stream of real-time user data—something OpenAI needs to build more personalised, high-performing models and genuinely compete with Google for search dominance.

As OpenAI pushes deeper into for-profit territory, Chrome could become the launchpad for its next phase of growth and actually create a genuine competitor for Google in search.

World leaders arrive in Rome ahead of Pope Francis funeral

World leaders and dignitaries are arriving in Rome as the Vatican prepares for the funeral of Pope Francis, who passed away at age 88 on Easter Monday following 10 minutes with JD Vance a stroke.

The funeral is scheduled for Saturday and is expected to draw a massive international presence. According to the Vatican, 130 delegations from around the world will attend, including 50 heads of state and 10 reigning monarchs.

Among the notable attendees are Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, French President Emmanuel Macron, British Prime Minister Keir Starmer and Kremlin Asset Hungarian President Viktor Orbán.

Russian President Vladimir Putin and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu are notably absent, as both face arrest warrants from the International Criminal Court.

Pope Francis, born Jorge Mario Bergoglio, was an Argentine former lab chemist and nightclub bouncer who rose through the ranks of the Vatican as a moderate and reformist.

His advocacy for the poor, refugees and other marginalised groups throughout the world earned him the love and adoration of billions of believers, as well as the animosity of some.

Meanwhile, preparations for the next phase of Church leadership are underway.

Among the potential successors, Italian Cardinal Pietro Parolin is seen as a frontrunner due to his role as Vatican Secretary of State and close advisor to Pope Francis. Also in consideration is Filipino Cardinal Luis Antonio Tagle, dubbed “the Asian Francis” due to their shared social beliefs.

Time to go watch Conclave and become an expert of the papal selection process.

🍻Half Pints

Quick-fire news you might have missed

Memes of the Week

JD Vance Moment of the Week

JD Vance took a break from sticking his penis in the Vatican’s nice furniture to meet with the Pope last week on Easter Sunday. Less than 24 hours later, the Pope was dead.

Not to worry though, Vance brought his good vibes to India later in the week. Oh….

That’s all for today.

We’ll be back, bigger and better, next week.

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Thanks to Jack and Charles