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The week's news in memes

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Greetings, beautiful people.

We’ve managed to survive another week and are now firmly ready to park it all up and head to the pub for a well deserved pint (or 6, who knows really).

But first, let’s get you your weekly roundup of the business and politics news you need to know from the UK and beyond, delivered in meme form.

⏰ Today's reading time is 5 minutes

Quote of the Week

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“I give myself the luxury of saying what I want.”

JosĂ© “Pepe” Mujica

USA and China agree to temporarily slash tariffs in bid to defuse trade war

The Economist editorial room let out a collective shriek of horror as it’s two sworn enemies: A Donald Trump-lead USA and China agreed to a 90-day truce in their trade war, marking the most significant improvement in relations since they started bickering a few months back.

The world’s two largest economies committed to slashing existing tariffs, though specifics remain under negotiation. Donald Trump stated that while duties could be reimposed if talks stall, they would likely be “far lower” than the punitive 145% tariff the US levied on select Chinese imports at the peak of the dispute.

Sounding a bit like how Gwyneth Paltrow would describe a break up, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent emphasised a shift toward a “strategic decoupling” rather than a complete disengagement from Chinese trade.

Stockmarkets surged in response to the rapprochement on trade. The S&P 500 erased its losses for the year and Tesla saw its market capitalisation climb above $1 trillion again. Tim Walz hasn’t been heard from since.

The Geneva round, facilitated by the perennial “neutral” peacekeepers Switzerland, is being hailed by analysts as a critical reset moment, but tensions remain on other fronts.

Beijing issued a warning to the UK following its new trade deal with the US, accusing Britain of aligning too closely with Washington.

The deal, signed last week, offers the UK limited tariff relief on car and steel exports—but only if it complies with strict American security provisions, including deep scrutiny of supply chains and ownership. These measures are widely seen as targeting Chinese firms.

European Commission wrong to deny release of von der Leyen messages, court says

In a landmark ruling for transparency in the European Union, the EU’s General Court has declared that the European Commission was wrong to withhold text messages exchanged between its president, Ursula von der Leyen and Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla during the COVID-19 pandemic.

The case, brought by The New York Times, stemmed from the Commission’s refusal in 2022 to disclose the messages, which were reportedly sent while negotiating a multibillion-euro vaccine procurement deal. Pfizer were also the first company to get their vaccine approved for European rollout.

Not suspicious at all


The court ruled that the Commission failed to plausibly explain why it does not possess the texts, despite consistent evidence from The NYT suggesting their existence. The Court found the Commission had not clarified what efforts were made to locate the messages or whether they were deleted—and if so, how.

Ursula “German Hillary Clinton” Von der Leyen played a central role in securing the agreement, and it seems the case comes down to two potential scenarios:

  1. Given she probably texts with one finger only, she has no clue how messages are deleted and probably accidentally wiped her phone. Boomer alert.

  2. She is dodgy and knows exactly how and why she deleted/withheld the messages with Bourla.

The court found that such texts fall under EU transparency rules and should have been treated as official documents, therefore there is no reason for “dog ate my homework"-esque excuses for why you can’t provide them.

The ruling could set a precedent for how digital communications by EU officials are handled, increasing pressure for greater accountability in institutional dealings with private corporations during emergencies.

UnitedHealth Group is under criminal investigation for possible Medicare fraud

 

Shares in UnitedHealth Group plunged 16.5% on Thursday following reports that the US Department of Justice is conducting a criminal investigation into the company’s Medicare Advantage practices.

According to The Wall Street Journal, the probe—ongoing since last summer—centres on potential fraud related to the government-funded Medicare program for seniors and disabled Americans.

The insurer’s stock has now lost half its value since the beginning of the year, marking a sharp reversal for one of the largest players in the American healthcare market.

Just a few days before the probe was revealed, UnitedHealth announced that CEO Sir Andrew Witty would step down for “personal reasons” and the company suspended its 2025 financial forecast amid rising medical costs.

This is all on top of them still recovering from their CEO Brian Thompson being gunned down New York City by TikTok sex-symbol Luigi Mangione.

UnitedHealth denied knowledge of the alleged criminal probe, stating, “We have not been notified by the Department of Justice,” and defended the integrity of its Medicare take Advantage program.

Boeing secures ‘largest-ever’ order from Qatar during Middle East tour

Best-selling author of The Art of the Deal and failed papal candidate Donald Trump didn’t rest on his laurels after China tariff freeze, jetting off for a Middle East tour to lube up more deals.

The kick things off, the Qatari’s “gifted” the Orange POTUS a Boeing 747-8 to be used by Trump as the new Air Force One.

Following this, the gulf state accidentaly stumbled upon more than $243 billion in agreements with the US.

Amongst these was Boeing’s largest-ever widebody aircraft order, a $96 billion deal with Qatar Airways for up to 210 jets, including 130 Dreamliners and 30 777-9s, with options for 50 more.

The deal comes as Boeing recovers from a troubled year of production issues, a machinists’ strike, murdering whistleblowers and Trump’s new tariffs.

The aircraft deal was accompanied by sweeping defence and technology pacts, as well as deals with other regional powers.

In Saudi Arabia, the US signed a record-breaking $142 billion arms deal, hailed as the largest of its kind.

The freedom-loving Kingdom also launched Humain, which is not your sisters boyfriends shitty indie rock band, but a new state-backed firm that will build AI infrastructure focused on Arabic-language models. American companies Nvidia and AMD are set to supply the chipsets.

Keir Starmer promises migration drop as he unveils plans for tightened visa rules

After getting back from the mechanics, Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer unveiled a sweeping immigration crackdown, pledging that net migration will fall “significantly” by the end of this Parliament.

The package includes banning overseas recruitment of new care workers, raising qualification requirements for skilled visas and increasing costs for employers hiring foreign staff.

While no specific target was set, Home Office modelling suggests these changes could cut annual net migration by up to 100,000 by 2029.

The new rules reverse key policies from the Johnson era:

  • Degree-level qualifications will once again be required for most skilled worker visas and the minimum residency period before applying for settled status will double from five to ten years.

  • Employers will also face a 32% rise in the Immigration Skills Charge—up to ÂŁ6,600 for large companies and universities may be hit with a new levy on international students, who as things stand pay up to 5x as much as our “home grown talent.” .

  • The government also plans stricter English language standards and a tougher interpretation of the “right to family life” under the European Court of Human Rights.

Starmer dismissed claims that the reforms were in response the rise in popularity of Reform UK, who wiped the floor with Labour in the recent local elections, insisting the system needs to be “fair, selective and under control.”

Critics from across the political spectrum accused Labour of ideological flip-flopping and risking damage to sectors reliant on migrant labour. He even got accused of taking inspiration from former Conservative Minister Enoch Powell’s racist “Rivers of Blood” speech.

It’s safe to say the PM doesn’t really give a fuck what his critics have to say.

When asked by Plaid Cymru leader Liz Saville Roberts “if any of the beliefs he holds have lasted even a week”, he responsed with:

“Yes, the belief that you talk rubbish.”

Keir “Thug Life” Starmer

UK economy defies warnings to actually grow 0.7% in first quarter of year

Apparently, the British economy is now the fastest-growing in the G7.

That means, China aside, we’ve outpaced every other major industrial power—beating the Japanese, the French (nice) and even the Americans.

Chancellor Rachel Reeves said there’s “still more to do.” Shadow chancellor Mel Stride urged caution, cautioning against the “premature to popping of champagne corks.”

So, what’s behind this mighty 0.7% figure?

Well, he bar’s not exactly sky-high.

UK GDP grew by 0.7% in the first quarter of the year. Granted that’s better than the US, which shrank by 0.2%, but growth across the G7 remains pretty shit.

Britain’s modest bump came from increased consumer spending and a 6% rise in business investment—largely driven by manufacturers racing to dodge looming tariffs. The economy is showing signs of resilience, but the picture is murkier than the numbers suggest.

Many people actively feel worse off. Utility costs are up, taxes have risen and hiring’s still very expensive for most employers, who are consequently freezing investment decisions.

Not to be a even more of a party pooper, but it’s worth pointing out that the growth data predates recent hikes in national insurance and minimum wage, meaning by next quarter the picture could look far less rosy.

đŸ»Half Pints

Quick-fire news you might have missed

Memes of the Week

Man Crush of the Week

Donald Trump had a brief, but clearly very impactful, meeting in Saudi Arabia this week with interim Syrian President Ahmed Al-Sharaa, calling him a “young, attractive guy. Tough guy. Strong past. Very strong past. Fighter.”

The “fighter” part may be referring to Al-Sharaa’s days as an Al-Qaeda commander.

Al-Sharaa must have reciprocated The Donald’s feelings, suggesting they build a Trump Tower in Damascus.

Romance ain’t dead, folks.

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That’s all for today.

We’ll be back, bigger and better, next week.

Our mission is to carefully create, curate and craft the best memes to help you get up to speed with what’s happening in the world and have a few laughs whilst doing so.

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